Like A Rolling Sex Machine (James Brown vs. Bob Dylan)
The Arkenstone, as described in The Hobbit, was a fantastic jewel found in the heart of the Lonely Mountain. It gave off it’s own light, but would become even more brilliant when reflecting the light of something else. It was an heirloom of Thorin’s family, and was therefore highly…
10 More Reasons a Christian Could Refuse to Bake You a Cake
In writing about recent bills that would protect a business’s right to refuse service to homosexuals, Conor Friedersdorf of The Atlantic asks:
Is it worth depriving a tiny religious minority of following their conscience or their livelihood to make a point that has little bearing on gay equality?
While this is certainly the correct legal question to ask, what about the religious questions that haven’t been asked?
If an obscure verse of Leviticus is being given so much attention, why are the Commandants given to Moses—God’s own Top 10 List—being ignored?
These 10 simple rules should also affect whether or not your local Christian baker will serve you.
Here are some suggestions, organized by commandment, for how a faithful baker might refuse service to the ungodly who dare to ask for the righteous bounty of their ovens:
1. I am the LORD thy God
Is that a Richard Dawkins book under your arm?
Don’t you love how he was the first to suggest that phenotype should not be limited to biological processes such as protein biosynthesis or tissue growth, but extended to include all effects that a gene has on its environment?
Now get your atheist ASS out of my bakery!
1a.* Thou shalt have no other gods
Excuse me, did I see you at a yoga class recently?
That’s close enough to believing every word of the Bhagavad Gita for this God-fearing man. Notice I didn’t say GodS. Let alone avatars of Vishnu.
Pardon me while I enter the “no cake pose.” And hold…
2. No graven images or likenesses
You said you had a shrine to Dale Earnhardt Jr. AND Elvis Presley?
Well, the only burning love I have is for the Lord.
The cake has left the building.
3. Not take the LORD’s name in vain
Who damnit? I bet you wished you didn’t just stub that toe.
You think I should fix the door jam? Well maybe you should fix your mouth!
I swear to CAKE we are not serving you, sir!
4. Remember the sabbath day
Bed Bath and Beyond and the dog park to start your calendar week?
Sorry, but this baker is taking a bonus day of rest you ungodly yuppies.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother
Mom never liked your fiancee, huh?
Then I bet she’s going to hate your cake. Cause there won’t be any.
Maybe you really are the disappointment she thinks you are.
6. Thou shalt not kill
Convicted of manslaughter in 1997? Haunts you every day of your life? It was the wake-up call you needed to get sober and turn your life around? You say you’ve even become friends with the victim’s family?
I’m sure you do pray for forgiveness every day.
Thank you…I just…
…thank you so much for sharing that story with me. That was really brave of you.
That story also lets me know that I just simply cannot serve you given that you are guilty of such a grievous sin. I sincerely hope you avoid the eternal lake of hellfire deep within the abode of the dead that almost assuredy awaits you after you depart this mortal plain.
Insensitive? I’m just a man of faith, sir.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery
It may be better the second time around, but our cake will not be on the menu.
Also, you’re a whore.
8. Thou shalt not steal
Wait, you only got the implied, verbal consent of the NFL, not its express, written consent?
Blame our ridiculous copyright laws. Blame the NFL. Either way, you’re SOL on this cake!
Now off with you! Go burgle more sporting programs you villainous malefactor!
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness
You may think that lying about irritable bowel syndrome to get out of jury duty is a joke, but for those of us who belief in the almighty, and who are actual sufferers of IBS, what you’ve done is no joke.
Your false claims are close enough to violating the last, but certainly not least of the rules dictated by a bit of rapidly oxidizing foliage to an ancient desert Hebrew (who, incidentally, had a terrible sense of direction), so I’m afraid your vanilla frosting will be substituted for vanilla nothing.
10. Thou shalt not covet
Were you just looking at the Henderson’s cake? Do you want a cake like that?
News flash, sinner, you can’t have any cake! Move your coveting eyes to someone else’s bakery.
These hands bake only for children of the Lord.
I simply can’t wait for Arizona and states across the country to pass legislation to explicitly protect owners of any business—baker or no—to discriminate against atheists, members of other religions, idolators, potty mouths, people who complete circuits on Sundays, ungrateful children, someone who has killed in a manner not sanctioned by the church, dirty dirty whores, thieves (which includes torrenting, OK?), and common liars.
Only then shall we truly live free.**
* There are at least seven different systems for numbering the commandments, so please excuse the subclause “a” workaround employed here.
** The author is in favor of businesses refusing service to homosexuals, homophobes, the Westboro Baptist Church, the Eastboro Baptist Church, short people, people with excessively long fingernails, too much belly button lint, not enough belly button lint, or any other group of people or any individual that the business deems unworthy of their service for any reason whatsoever. It’s a free country and you’re free to be as big of an asshole as you like.
The author only wishes to point out that homosexuality is being singled out not because of anyone’s religious beliefs, but because homosexuality makes some people uncomfortable. Religion is therefore being used as an excuse for acting out against homosexuals, rather than acting as the real motivating force in these arguments.
Live your life however you want to live it, but try to live it with some bravery, integrity, and consistency. If you are going to live by your creed, live by it all the time, as completely as possible, and with regards to everyone you encounter. If you only to choose to pay credence to your supposed belief system when it comes to people who you don’t like, then you’re just a bigot with a fancy story.
Method 2 on this wikihow page is perfect for making bacon fast. I recommend 6.5 minutes cooking time, though your mileage may vary.
Hello. My name is Chris Kluwe, and for eight years I was the punter for the Minnesota Vikings. In May 2013, the Vikings released me from the team. At the time, quite a few people asked me if I thought it was because of my recent activism for same-sex marriage rights, and I was very careful in how I answered the question. My answer, verbatim, was always, “I honestly don’t know, because I’m not in those meetings with the coaches and administrative people.”
This is a true answer. I honestly don’t know if my activism was the reason I got fired.
However, I’m pretty confident it was.
I’ve also heard that Kluwe was a more mediocre punter. But regardless of why he got fired, if his account is to be believed, the Vikings would seem to be employing a comically horrible homophobe. If this character was in a movie you’d think it was too over-the-top to be believable.
Though it may look fake and unreal and impossible and not allowed on Earth, the camera stabilizer in the video is completely real.
After seeing hundreds of posts about “ground-breaking” iPad drawing apps or other such drivel, you being to think that innovation is just a buzz word.
Then you see something in the real world that looks impossible.
This is the kind of a tech gadget that still makes me smile and feel that sense of delight in seeing the impossible made possible.
Smartphones are deceptively affordable. If you buy an iPhone 5s unlocked, it will cost you $649 upfront for a 16GB model, yet if you bundle that same phone with an AT&T contract, it will cost you just $199 upfront. The rest of the balance is subsidized by your carrier upfront, and paid off over the next 24 months in monthly installments.
It’s a decent system that results in massive profits for carriers, but at the cost of an upfront payment to Apple. Go figure, though, AT&T would rather just rake in massive profits without that upfront payment… which is why CEO Randall Stephenson is now saying the are “unsustainable.”
A little late on this story, but worth asking why this is being treated with such derision while the T-Mobile plan to was welcomed as a way to separate phones from 2-year contracts.
The obvious answer is in the phrasing and that AT&T is generally not well liked by its customers.
That being said, I hope AT&T sticks to this line of thinking and also decouples phone purchases from contracts. Its a larger up-front investment, but it will mean that long-term use of the same smart phone is rewarded, rather than punished. Currently, if you keep your phone beyond the renewal point, you’re paying to subsidize a phone that AT&T has already made back its money on.
Under a decoupled system, there would be no incentive to buy a new phone each year, allowing for longer-term use of smart devices and ultimately a net savings for consumers.
You know, the oddest thing about what’s happening right now is that we’ve stopped living our lives and we’re just recording them.
…it’s time that we acknowledge that conservative and liberal politicians spend more time together, and have more in common with one another, than we’d like to believe.
Couldn’t agree more.
Since his arrival in Denmark to face hacking charges Gottfrid Svartholm has sat in solitary confinement, denied free access to mail and denied access to his books. The situation has outraged Wikileaks’ Julian Assange who says Gottfrid is now a political prisoner. Meanwhile Gottfrid’s mother Kristina has written to Amnesty hoping that they will take notice of her son’s plight.
One many in solitary while another expresses his outrage from his refuge inside a foreign embassy. Both men are chased by international law enforcement and multiple governments want to stop them.
What crime did they commit to deserve such attention?
They built website that other people could post information on.
THEY. MUST. BE. STOPPED.
FEE on Bitcoin.